Is it OK to Cry at Work?: The Advantages and Disadvantages of Stress in the Workplace

Confessions of a SAFE-AHOLIC By: Stephanie Zizzo, ASHM

This week, I attended the Lakeshore Safety and Environmental Network Lunch Meeting, which featured Dr. James (Jim) Motiff to speak on “Understanding Stress in the Workplace”. Dr. Motiff's presentation was one of the best presentations I have ever been to. His information on dealing with stress was informative on a workplace level and a personal level.

It really got me thinking about stress and how it can be bad and good. “Stress has a bad name because we associate it with negative experiences”, Dr. Motiff said, he continued to explain how more people than ever report leading stressful lives. He asked us why this may be? Possibly, because of technology, because of the economy, and because of the modern world. The key to managing stress is: Balance.

He continued to explain to us the meaning of Good Stress. Good Stress gives us the feeling of being challenged. Without stress we become bored. Stress helps us to be more productive, have more energy, and keep us interested. There is a catch though... it is possible to have too much of a good thing, hence the Bad Stress.

Bad stress accompanies the feeling of being overwhelmed. It makes us feel out of balance; as if there are too many demands, and that we are working beyond our capabilities. To help solve the issues of bad stress, there should be teaching and training in place to avoid lettings all the small things add up.

Dr. Motiff continued to discuss how we are genetically programmed to react to stress. Genetics takes over our reactions to stress in 1 of 3 ways: Fight, Flee, or Freeze. Sometimes when we become overwhelmed and stressed at work, we go home and react to our stress by fighting; Fighting with our spouses or even fighting with ourselves. We could decide there needs to be some sort of payback to our employer, whether that is stealing company property or destroying equipment. When we choose to Flee, we run away. In a work setting this can be missing work, doctors excuses, daydreaming with no focus, and forgetting things. This type of behavior can lead to accidents in the work place, such as accidentally forgetting to lock and tag out a machine. When someone with unbalanced stress levels Freezes, more often than not you will see their productivity decline, which can significantly hurt the company's bottom line.

Dr. Motiff told us about a study he had read where 700 men and women were questioned about what they would do if someone yelled at them at work... 20% of those people said they would cry. Others said yell or curse (this was more common in women) and 15% said hit someone. Another poll was taken where men and women were asked, if it was OK to cry at work. From the poll, 48% of men said yes it was ok, and only 41% of women said it was OK. Why is this?

Gender differences may be the cause...James talked to us about what happens when a women cries in the work place. First, crying resets both men and woman’s stress balances. When women and men cry, they instantly feel better and relieved. But for women, after they cry and feel good, they are immediately moved with an immense amount of guilt. This is because as women we feel the responsibility to our gender to be strong and not cry in a place of work or power because we perceive it makes us look weak. These feelings can often cancel each other out leaving us feeling upset.

So what do we do when we recognize this behavior amongst employees and co-workers? If you see a worker who is moody, be helpful and acknowledge the fact that they have feelings. Here are the wrong actions to take, with the corrections following:

• Don't say things like “poor thing, you must be stressed”, this automatically puts the person into a category of being helpless.
• Instead try to help the person by listening to them and try to understand
• Don't pretend like you're the Guru of stress and you have the answers
• They talk... You listen!
• Don't try and shut the emotion down by telling them “Stop crying it will be ok”
• Instead make sure they know that you truly care and you are there to hear them out. The person doesn't want to feel alone
• Don't ask “why” questions, “why are you crying” or “why do you feel bad”
• Rather, ask open ended questions of, “what” and “how”. “how are you feeling” or “what are you feeling”

Remember, stress is natural and ordinary in daily life, including work. Recognize the signs of stress for yourself and the people around you. Whether you are at work or home stress can not be eliminated and it shouldn't be because Motiff says, “Managing stress is the key to success at work and happiness in life”.

Stay smiling :)

-Stephanie